Good afternoon Kelvin,
I have been following your Facebook page for some time and I love how it has remained one of the page that gives us content which teaches us to be self-reliance and independent in life. I have been partly motivated by your page to stick to the decision which I made. Here is my story.
My Father died when I was very you that I do not even recognize him. I lived with my Mother who also died when I was in Form 3 at Likuni Girls in Lilongwe. A distant cousin of my Mother, whom I just called Uncle came to my rescue as he took over responsibility to take care of me.
I finished my secondary school but was not lucky enough to go a Public University, so my Uncle encouraged me to apply for a school I wanted. He is a well to do person and one of the most famous business people in Lilongwe.
I applied at Cavendish University and I was admitted to study Bachelor of Arts in Development Studies. Everything was smooth and I finally left Malawi for Zambia to start my first Semester in 2020. He paid for everything and gave supported me as his own child.
Problems came soon after I went to school. Few months later he told me he was coming to see me. I was happy to let him come and also see our campus. He arrived in Lusaka and booked at Radisson Blu Hotel, one of the most expensive hotels in Zambia.
I met him and we moved around my campus and also to the apartment I stayed at. He was very happy of my progress and he later told me to come have dinner with him at the hotel as he wanted to discuss some issues with me.
After dinner, he told me that he was having issues with his wife at him and that he was so stressed. He really looked unhappy and I felt very sorry for him. He said he suspected that his wife was cheating on him. Later on, he asked me to go to his room and take some things he had brought for me. While there, he confessed to me that he would be very happy if I slept with him as that would ease his pain. He also told me that he did not trust any woman at that point and that if I refused, he was going to cut sponsorship.
This came as a shock, but I finally gave in and it became a habit. He came to school almost every month and the more I did it with him, the more I became uncomfortable as also became sexually violent. This affected my performance in class and eventually, I made a decision to stop sleeping with him, soon after he had given me tuition money. I used the money to set myself up and started a business of ordering things and supplying to friends in Malawi.
It wasn’t easy and I ended up staying in a low class area while in Zambia. Honestly, I did not want to come back to Malawi, but I kept on with the business and later found a job at a big shop which also eased the pain of having to eat from my business.
In short, my business grew, I took myself back to school and I will be finishing next year. I am a sad person to note that I did not make the decision even before I slept with my Uncle, but I am glad I finally stepped up and refused to be his sex toy.
I know there are a lot of girls in my predicament, all I can say is that there is no peace in doing the wrong things. Peace of mind comes to those walking the righteous path. I believe when you make a decision to do the right thing, God guides you. I now have two shops in Lilongwe and I am able to support myself. If I had not made up my mind, I would still be subjected to sexual abuse just to finish my school.
People may judge me differently and I am not happy about it either, but I took a step which has helped me. I will live with some regrets, but most importantly, I always be happy that I stood up to my dignity even after failing at first. I am also grateful to the people I spoke to about the issue, they never judged me but encouraged me.
Views in this article are not of Kelvin Sulugwe, but the sender whose name appears at the end of the story. If you have a story of How It Started for you and want to share with readers, you can send it to me through “Submit Article”. It should be a story which can motivate other people and give them lessons of life. You can write in either English or Chichewa, I will take time to edit your submission to suit our standards. It can be on any topic, as long as it as a personal experience worth sharing.