Depression after break up, what leads to it and how to overcome it

There are few things which usually lead to depression after a break up. Common among them are:

1. Thoughts. When you think of what used to happen in private between the two of you. Then you think about it, he/she is going to do those ‘goodies’ with someone else.

2. Shame. When you imagine what people will say. You remember all the photos on social media, countless road trips, the admirations you got from friends, relatives, other people you don’t even know etc. Suddenly, what will they say?

3. Shuttered dreams. This is a person you were building your life around. You have or wanted to have kids, businesses, properties and all. Now you have started all over, alone or with a completely new person.

4. Questions. Why did they come into your life? Why did they leave? What wrong did you do? Why did they do what they did? Did they even value you? Is there something wrong with you? Maybe a family curse or bad luck? You get all sorts of questions.

But, remember this, you are not the only one in that situation and you will not be the last one. All you have to do is make a decision. You can choose to move on or go back to them and try all you can to work things out, if chances are there.

If you choose to move on, don’t look back. Move on. Make room for others. If its depressing, then don’t be back and forth. Don’t miss them today and feel like stabbing them tomorrow. Just move on and delete all your memories with them. Think of them as a bridge to something else that will stay forever.

If you chose to go back and work things out, ask yourself if you will be able to live with whatever happened that led to the point of break up. Ask yourself what will happen if such things happen again, because they are likely to happen again. Above all, know their stand. Do they want to work things out or they have decided to move on?

In the end, the best medicine is time. It heals and you will heal. Accept what happened. Forgive what happened. Forget what happened.

9 thoughts on “Depression after break up, what leads to it and how to overcome it

  1. Felix manyozo

    This is nice more especially for us the youth

  2. Lackson Luhanga

    Time is indeed the best medicine… Nice article sir

  3. Jason mpapa

    What hurts more is that you invested your emotions,money,time and your whole being into that person and zingotha mosakhala bwino kamabaya.but I’d advice people to never go back,just carry yourself and allow yourself the pain and eventually it stops

  4. Allan Chilima

    The most important thing is self esteem, remember where you are coming from, how many battles you have defeated, and most importantly where you are going.

    Learn to value yourself, and be concrete on the decision you have made, it pains yes, but with time you will move on and realise thay you made the best decision

  5. Luke Wa Chimwaza


    1. Alinafe mdzeka

      It hurts but once you accept it then as time goes you heal and I like the word if you want to go back make sure the are ready too to make things work too… Love feels good when both parties are putting the same energy and effort

  6. Tamandani Majeweta

    It really hurts n had to move on sometimes considering how u loved that other half.

  7. mhonegodfrey

    Acceptance..u need to be quick about it..zachitika accept it has..brings about forgiveness but not.forgeting.the scar hobbies etc t really.helps

  8. Bernard PM Kawonga

    Of course it’s not easy to move on after break up. The depression becomes unbearable but there’s a way out.

    First of all we need to accept that the person was not meant for us. Acceptance is the first step

    We can also overcome depression by telling our friends and family. This also helps as they will be checking on you and give you words of encouragement.

    Finally, be close to the word of God.

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